Archives: 2010 March

Archive for March, 2010

Zip Wire Transport

While in Costa Rica, the hombre Skateboard B and I took advantage of the awe-inspiring canopy tour in Monteverde, which I can honestly say was one of the most intense and exhilarating experiences of my life. It seems as though there are some kids in Columbia who take the same kind of zip line to school every day. Not too shabby.

Check out the full article.

Best. Recession. Ever.

The recession isn’t just hurting humans. It’s hurting sharks.

Mind you, it’s hurting sharks in a way that directly benefits humans. To wit, coastal nomads and beach bums are no longer being eaten by sharks–at least not as much as they were before.

Eduardo Verdugo / AP file

According to our friends at The Associated Press (Full disclosure: Goodosphere contributor Nick Zigler once used “AP style”), shark attacks have dipped to a five-year low, most likely due the result of penny pinching vacationers opting out of Corona commercial getaways.

The University of Florida’s resident ichthyologist (ik-thee-ol-uh-jee – the study of fish) told AP that the precipitous decline was unlikely to last in the predicted post-health care beach rush/shark attack free-for-all of 2010.

Lunch Lady Land

This sign has boggled, tickled, and beguiled for some weeks now. What happens when a cafeteria eats an auditorium? Only good things.

Good Music: Tiny Tim Edition

The ukulele’s had a good past couple of years. Be it irresistible viral video, iPhone apps, or artisans finding insanely profitable second careers in crafting them, there’s been an undeniable resurgence.

Lest we forget our history, I’m embedding a little throwback Tiny Tim for the people. “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” with a giant in the annals of uku:

Questions for Goodosphere.

A Curious Man

Why is this man drinking straight out of a pitcher? Surely there are glasses freely available within this drinking establishment? Why did he show up at 10:30 p.m., apparently having slept behind said drinking establishment in someone else’s car for hours previous? And why is he so devilishly handsome? I know not the answers to these questions… I only know that it is good.

Orange Gerard the Antarctic Amphipod

In the latest installment of our ‘Things Under the Ice’ series (begun by my dear colleague Zach Hunsaker), we bring you an inquisitive young shrimp I’ve named: Orange Gerard.

Gerard’s whereabouts were previously unknown until NASA saw fit to probe a camera more than 600 ft. below the West Antarctic ice. Imagine their surprise when Orange Gerard made an appearance and did what can only be described as the most unusual pole dance of all time. Enjoy!

Orange Gerard is a shrimp of few words

Click HERE for video. Courtesy of NASA.

Obligatory Pigeon on Public Transportation Post

There’s not much to this one. Rats, raccoons, mice, pigeons, squirrles–it takes a real champion animal to stick around and tolerate urban development. Some even partake in the daily hustle and bustle:

Good Music: Free Energy Edition

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah‘s eponymous debut album featured an almost-eponymous opening track, “Clap Your Hands,” that threatened to revolt or beguile listeners, depending on their inclinations. The two minute foray into the psycho-carnival was a declaration that something good — their unassailable debut — had arrived.

Philly’s Free Energy open their DFA debut, Stuck on Nothing, with comparable panache: We’re breaking out this time. Making out with the wind. And I’m so disconnected, I’m never going to check back in. They eschew carnival keys for punchy power chords, cowbell, and dueling guitar solos that swell to the ether. As dirty as it sounds, this album was made for the Guitar Hero/Rock Band set. Click for a taste:

The James Murphy-produced quintet have managed to create the perfect classic rock album to soundtrack your summer some 30 years after the lamentable peak of Cheap Trick. There’s no reason to discuss tracks, because this is a seamless, cohesive effort–commendable in its own right considering Sufjan no longer has faith in the album, the song, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I digress. Stuck on Nothing is the cure to your March malaise–proof that the album is still a viable medium and that hanging out in that car during the opening sequence of That ’70s Show would be a good time, with or without the Kutchbag. Song titles run the gamut of unabashed, bygone positivity: “Dream City”, “Bang Pop”, “Young Hearts”, “Light Love”, “Hope Child”. Even “Bad Stuff” claims If you hear my voice, then it might not be too late. This is unapologetic rock music to remind you of your pulse.

Miracle Elephant Transcends Birth, Death

Some elephant in Australia decided to mate with another Austral pachyderm and produced a baby that ele-docs claimed would be DOA (not the Jay-Z kind). Vets at Sydney’s Taronga Zoo predicted the 255-pound calf was dead after failing to find any vital signs during the mother’s six days of labor. When mom was ready to pop, a solemn crowd of onlookers attended — expecting nothing more than a regrettable stillborn birth, but after little Dumbo laid out and claimed a piece of earth, he decided to switch it up on ’em.

Turns out, the elephant was in a coma during labor and soon after being born, decided he was over the whole coma scene. Sources say the male calf found his coma to be “overly comatose.”

Der Humpink.

Like a sort of holy grail, for literally threes of days we’ve searched for that “perfect goodosphere moment” to hit us in real life. Something we could capture in words, a photograph, a video, or police sketch. Sadly, perhaps one hasn’t struck us yet. Less sadly, there’s never a shortage of funny videos on the internets to tide us over until then.

In perhaps the first sequel to a previous Goodosphere post, Christoph Waltz in Der Humpink.

And secondly, proof that Chatroulette isn’t just a place to see someone’s dong — even if said dong isĀ very creative (NSFW).