Archives: 2011 April

Archive for April, 2011

Goodosphere Tells A Joke: Macca Gets Dirty

This week we have a special guest appearance from Sir Paul McCarntey, who wanted nothing more than to tell a dirty joke. We let him because he’s the walrus:

Double Down: The Governator And His G.I.R.L.I.E. Men


Marc Piasecki/Getty Images

Goodosphere is composed of a bunch of girlie men.

We’re proud of it.

We bake killer cakes, have conniptions when we see snakes, and love to dither over our woefully inadequate discretionary spending fund.

In that sense, we’re much like the ostensible foes of former Kaleephoneya Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

We were often of two minds when it came to coloring Arnold. He wasn’t Gray. And he certainly wasn’t Brown.

When Arnold announced his candidacy back in the halcyon days of 2003, a lot of California seemed pretty stoked. We were a little perplexed.

Could this man really solve the potentially serious problems the state had? Was this “outsider” shtick really going to play out in Sacramento? Would creeping cronyism make Danny DeVito lieutenant governor? All valid questions. All would be answered (We still say Danny DeVito pwns Abel Maldonado any day of the week).

Arnold wasn’t a disaster by any means. AB32 was passed under his watch and it’s the most ambitious environmental legislation in the country. He managed to stave off an end of days in California come the great recession of 2008, though said recession also managed to hobble his administration in its final years.

It never quite seemed like Arnold was a politician. He was magnanimous in his public appearances and press addresses, but he’s an actor by trade so using that as a yardstick would be about as useful as picking up a shotgun to terminate a nanomorph mimetic poly-alloy assassin. Y’know?

Still, with all that fame and all that power, legions speculated as to what Mr. Schwarzenegger would do once he completed his second term as head banana of the great state of California. President? Turns out we’re not big on amendments. A return to acting? The Expendables left us yearning for at least a little more. Maybe a career diplomat? He certainly burnished his credentials in his last two years in office when, for all intents and purposes, he was one.

It seems everyone forgot to hazard at least one guess: that our Last Action Hero would become our far from last animated action hero.

The inescapable desire for that elusive third term has led past politicos to embarrass themselves in a number of ways. It led Arnold, forever the outsider, to The Governator.

That’s right, folks. Arnold’s first role after leaving office will be that of a former governor who fights crime to protect the state to which he feels forever beholden. Talk about public service!

Arnold is working with comic book writer par excellence Stan Lee on a cartoon action series starring the Governator that will most likely find an international audience.

Will Stan’s presence make The Governator into a blockbuster success akin to Spider-Man and X-Men? We hope so. Instead of inspiring kids to get snacked on by radioactive spiders or experimented on by creepy Canucks, maybe they’ll forge their superpowers by overcoming budget impasses and battling political gridlock.

Instead of super journalists or bat benefactors, this next generation of youth will be equipped with the political savvy to dine with heads of state. They’ll battle wildfires, balk at recessions, and recall the bejesus out of whomever they so please.

Most importantly, like The Governor, they will forever pledge resistance against Gangsters, Imposters, Racketeers, Liars, and Irredeemable Ex-cons (G.I.R.L.I.E. Men for short).

BatDance!

Usually we at the Goodosphere like to bring in the weekend with dance. What makes this week different, you ask? This week, it’s a BATDANCE.

Happy weekend, world!

BFF

Cutest unlikely pairing since Milo and Otis.

The Dark Side Of The Force Is Strong Indeed.

I don’t mean to make this a Star Wars-themed week (or do I?), but what happens when you get your kid all ready for her first day at Jedi Academy, new robes, perfect haircut, Nimbus 2000 lightsaber, and then you find out she doesn’t exactly… fit in?

KNEEL BEFORE VADER!

AT-AT Monument

We watched with delight when plans to erect a likeness of Robocop in Detroit took shape. Now, we’re overjoyed to learn that one man is on a mission to bring an AT-AT to a town near you. What’s an AT-AT? Perhaps this historic footage of the Battle of Hoth will explain:

Mike Koehler, a father of three from Oklahoma City, would like to construct a full-scale AT-AT a la The Empire Strikes Back somewhere in America. The best part? Koehler wants it to be fully functional. We assume it’ll look something like this:

Koehler says the All Terrain Amored Transport, “… would become an instant monument of America’s obsession with popular culture and our ability to be awesome.”

We say: May the force be with you Mike.

Thanks theforce.com & thinkgeek

Goodosphere Tells A Joke: Genial Prefers Verboden Vrucht

Perpetuum Mobile

The Penguin Cafe Orchestra is probably the best cafe orchestra ever.

Safety First

This is borderline bad, but we contacted Six Flags 1982 and were told that our man was able to be resituated before go time:


Thanks, J-Babs.

Representing The Little Man

You want honesty from your politicians and candidates? You want to see earnest emotion? You want them to admit when they don’t measure up to the task?

Then vote Jesse Koczon for Governor of New Jersey… in about 25 years.