Archives: 2012 September

Archive for September, 2012

Double Down A La DMX

It isn’t too often you see DMX trending on the World Wide Web, but we were lucky enough to witness just that last week. The good people over at Grantland helped publicize a video in which the bygone hip-hop hero Googled something (himself) for the first time. Ever. It was magical, and pairs nicely with a mash-up (DMX vs. Reading Rainbow) shared with us by a friend recently. Stop! Drop! Click on play! Open up shop!

Thanks, Esperanza.

A Simple Crease Can Really Change A Story

Thanks, Jimbo!

Son, I Sent Your Toy Train To Space (But It’ll Be Back)

Son: I really love this train.

Dad: Cool. Let’s send it into the stratosphere!

Son: Statosphere?

Dad: Exactly.

Thanks, Switzer!

As Is

Keith Cook was addicted to crack. He was homeless, too. With the help of a whole lot of friends, he got clean, and married, and had a gaggle of kids. Now he works at a community garden in Southeast Washington, D.C. A few weeks ago he showed up to work and found a portrait of himself leaning against the garden’s fence.

How would you react? I imagine most of us would freak out. “Who painted this? Do I have a stalker? I knew I should have deleted my Facebook account back in ’06!” Maybe you’d go the other way. Maybe you’d feel honored to be noticed, to be remembered.

That would run a little nearer to artist Nicole Bourgea’s intention. In an increasingly technology-driven age, Bourgea hoped to let a few lucky souls know they have been seen, noticed, remembered. She walked the streets of the District, met random strangers, and made them – and the surroundings where their paths crossed – the subjects of large-scale paintings for her “urban portrait project.” The ultimate step was installing the portraits back where she originally crossed paths with her subjects with a sign stating, “If this is you, the painting is yours to take.” Let’s hope all of them stumble upon themselves.

A Play On Scores

Someone Like You (On Butter)

Because some things are better without any explanation whatsoever…

Good Quotations: Boss Philossophy

Springsteen came to glory in the age of Letterman, but he is anti-ironical. Keith Richards works at seeming not to give a shit. He makes you wonder if it is harder to play the riffs for “Street Fighting Man” or to dangle a cigarette from his lips by a single thread of spit. Springsteen is the opposite. He is all about flagrant exertion. There always comes a moment in a Springsteen concert, as there always did with James Brown, when he plays out a dumb show of the conflict between exhaustion and the urge to go on. Brown enacted it by dropping to his knees, awash in sweat, unable to dance another step, yet shooing away his cape bearer, the aide who would enrobe him and hustle him offstage. Springsteen slumps against the mike stand, spent and still, then, regaining consciousness, shakes off the sweat—No! It can’t be!—and calls on the band for another verse, another song. He leaves the stage soaked, as if he had swum around the arena in his clothes while being chased by barracudas. “I want an extreme experience,” he says. He wants his audience to leave the arena, as he commands them, “with your hands hurting, your feet hurting, your back hurting, your voice sore, and your sexual organs stimulated!”

So the display of exuberance is critical. “For an adult, the world is constantly trying to clamp down on itself,” he says. “Routine, responsibility, decay of institutions, corruption: this is all the world closing in. Music, when it’s really great, pries that shit back open and lets people back in, it lets light in, and air in, and energy in, and sends people home with that and sends me back to the hotel with it. People carry that with them sometimes for a very long period of time.

Photo: Julian Broad
Words: David Remnick
More: @NewYorker

Girl Cat

Greg Gillis, known for being the sole member of Girl Talk and having a better record collection than the rest of us, has a cat. Greg Gillis’ cat is now known to the world as the best feline Ed Roland impersonator since… um…

Guys, Greg Gillis’ cat is the first feline Ed Roland impersonator!

Monopoly Money

I grew up in Canada. When I would meet Americans, some of them would laugh at our “Monopoly money.” It was brightly colored and prominently featured funny-looking animals you only saw north of the 49th. Well, our time has come! Look closely at the colors on your freshly-minted paper monies! Look at how well they align with the master plan laid out by the Brothers Parker so many moons ago! Evil laugh evil laugh evil laugh evil laugh! That is all.

Thanks, Papua Nick Guinea.


We are just three days past what was three months away from what some believe will be our last day on the planet, the end of our earthly existence. Are you making preparations? Are you crossing items off your bucket list? Or are you, like we here at the Goods, reveling in the apocalyptic humor? If you need some help with the latter, our friends at SNL have this trailer for a Gary Marshall-esque romance comedy to go with the end of days. You may have to tolerante an advertisement.