Archives: 2013 March

Archive for March, 2013

Goulet.

While we may be more familiar with a Jay-Z who Watches The Throne with Kanye or Collides into Courses with Linkin Park (that was a joke, please don’t be familiar with that), we may have overlooked one of Jay’s earlier collaborations. Namely, the album he put out with Robert Goulet, Murder In The Make-Believe Ballroom. Though perhaps you simply forgot about it because all you could think about was JAY-Z GETTING HIGH WITH HIS FRIENDS ON LIVE NATIONAL TELEVISION AND NO ONE CARING. Oh, Mr. Knowles. Keep it up.

The Last Lebowski

Wednesday’s Like ‘Sound Of Silence’ In Hand Farts

Prediction Is Hard

In 1985, Ebony Magazine let its readers know what Michael Jackson would look like in the year 2000:

At 40, he will have aged gracefully and will have a handsome, more mature look. In number, his fans will have grown tenfold by the year 2000.

Thanks, Arun.

College Humor Tells A Joke: Spring Breakers (With Princesses)

College Humor made a parody ‘Spring Breakers‘ trailer, replacing the former Disney starlets with former Disney princesses. It’s perfect.

CollegeHumor’s Favorite Funny Videos

Thanks, Sabri!

Happy Birthday, Fred

Mr. Rogers would have turned 85 this week, and as Patton Oswalt pointed out on the Twits, he was an incredibly rare gem. Never before was there a television personality as sincere and earnest, and we’ll likely not see one of his caliber again for quite some time. Here’s proof in the form of our favorite neighbor trying to learn how to breakdance:

Evolution Of My Block

As a boy I bicycled the block
w/a brown mop top falling
into a tail bleached blond,

gold-like under golden light,
like colors of Noble Knights
’banging on corners, unconcerned

w/the colors I bore—a shorty
too small to war with, too brown
to be down for the block.

White Knights became brown
Kings still showing black & gold
on corners now crowned,

the block a branch branded
w/la corona graffitied on
garage doors by the pawns.

As a teen, I could’ve beamed
the crown, walked in w/out
the beat down custom,

warred w/my cousin
who claimed Two-Six,
the set on the next block

decked in black & beige.
But I preferred games to gangs,
books to crooks wearing hats

crooked to the left or right
fighting for a plot, a block
to spot & mark w/blood

of boys who knew no better
way to grow up than throw up
the crown & be down for whatever.

Jacob Saenz

Mama Cat Stops Kitten’s Nightmare

It seems like every week someone (guilty) finds the new “cutest thing ever.” This is that thing this week:

Thanks, Janne.

I Be On My Suit & Tie

NBA Fan Tells A Joke: Digging For Gold

Thanks, Hellion.