Archives: 2013 June

Archive for June, 2013


Goodosphere’s godfather is Elmo Jayatilake. He hails from Kandy Town, Sri Lanka, where he was born some 72 years ago. When surrounded by Sesame Street Elmos, as he was this past weekend in Times Square, he likes to let them know that he is the “Original Elmo.” As you can see from the below photographic evidence, they don’t present much by way of argument. Godspeed, godfather.

Double Down: This Is Water

People are graduating this time of year. You know them. They’re your cousins, friends, siblings, and neighbors. If you’re attending a ceremony, you know the drill: there’s a whole lot of pomp and circumstance to tolerate, but, if you’re lucky, you get a halfdecent speech thrown in for good measure.

We only recently came across this, perhaps the most inspiring, compelling commencement speech ever given — or at least forever archived on the World Wide Web. It was delivered by David Foster Wallace in May of 2005 to the graduating class at Kenyon College in Ohio. It doesn’t need the fancy visual treatment it recently received at the hands of The Glossary, but it certainly doesn’t hurt.

Bonus round: David Foster Wallace on Ambition

Phones Replaced With Sandwiches

Our favorite new blog is without a doubt Phones Replaced with Sandwiches.

Pantless Baby Plays A Joke

Unlocking The Truth

Here are ten things that you need to know about Unlocking the Truth, as unlocked in a wonderful Noisey profile:

1) They’re a trio of sixth graders who love nothing more than hardcore metal

2) They have established a weekly residency in Times Square

3) They’re managed by one of their moms, a.k.a. their “momager

4) She doesn’t listen to metal — she likes R&B

5) They’ve been judged for wearing nail polish and being just generally being weird

6) They sorta think rap is meaningless

7) They hate paying for their own hot chocolate

8) They’re good at Guitar Hero, like 100% good

9) Homework always comes first

10) This is fucking awesome:

Thanks, Jules!

It’s The Little Things

“I had the best childhood. I loved life. I thought life was the most wonderful thing ever created. For three cents, you could get a small egg cream—they were called egg creams for some reason, there was never an egg in it. For a nickel, you could get a regular—a Coke glass, a jumbo glass. They put in a spoon of chocolate—Fox’s U-Bet from a jar. Then they would put in a little bit of milk, still from a bottle of milk—it was glass and cold from the icebox. Then they’d hit it from the fountain with a thin, powerful, high stream of seltzer. Shhhhhhhh! It would explode the chocolate syrup in the milk. It was not nonfat milk—it was milk, real milk. And then the soft flow of seltzer to bring it to the top, and a deep, long spoon stirred mightily until there was a beautiful foam top of milk and chocolate bubbles. It was the nectar of the gods. I compare it now to my Château Mouton Rothschild ’82.”

Mel Brooks, on growing up in Brooklyn in, like, 1892

It’s A Nice Day For A Red Wedding

Reactions to last Sunday’s eventful Game Of Thrones episode have been flooding in, and they’ve been incredibly fun to watch, but here’s the best one by far.

Warning: contains some very NSFW language. But really, can you blame her?

World, Meet The Best Wedding Photo Ever Taken

Thanks, Nim and io9!

Goodosphere Tells Yet Another Pirate Joke

Thanks, Sean.