Archives: 2013 September

Archive for September, 2013

Sleepjoking With Baby

Good Music: Ellery James Roberts

“To the powers of old, to the powers that be: You fucked up this world, but you won’t fuck with me.”

Don’t Stop Thinking About The Bottom

This is a Drake joke.

Unexpected Good: Miley Cyrus Rolling Stone Profile Edition

We read the Rolling Stone profile of Miley Cyrus expecting the worst — expecting to have all our pre-conceived notions confirmed. Some of them were. But of course, as is to be expected with pre-judging, we were also proven wrong. Miley made some cogent arguments against censorship, she proved to be funny, and the whole affair ended with this, one of the greatest paragraphs we’ve read in a long while. Thanks to Josh Eells and the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel.

Everyone piles into an SUV, with Miley checking her lipstick in the passenger seat. Cheyne leads the way, and our whole crew blows past the line in the lobby and gets escorted to a prime corner booth, which Miley calls “the birdcage.” The promoter gives her a hug and sends over a bottle of vodka. The club, which features a twisted, live-action roving variety show, feels like something out of Stefon’s wet dreams: There’s an old male stripper in leather hot pants, fishnet­wearing go-go dancers, a miniature Psy dancing to “Gangnam Style.” Amazon Ashley, the six-foot-seven burlesque dancer whom Miley mimed anilingus on at the VMAs, comes over, topless, except for pasties, and gives her a massive hug. “I Believe I Can Fly” plays on the PA, and a bummed-looking Oompa-Loompa, who is attached to a cable via a hook on the back of his overalls, gets hoisted up to the ceiling and dropped down to a table of girls, where he delivers a bottle of liquor.

Teenage Wasteland

“What would happen if you asked high school students to help create a 21st-century portrait of the country by turning their cameras on their neighborhoods, families, friends and schools?”

The New York Times asked that question of these United States and got some outstanding results: 4,289 outstanding images to be specific, from “rural villages and urban neighborhoods, wealthy suburbs and blue-collar Rust Belt towns.” They’re highlighting the best 145. We’re highlighting one.

Thanks, Jamie.

Double Down: This Is Why The Internet

Thanks, Jenny.

Brady Bunch A La Foxx

Jamie Foxx is talented the way we all wish we were, in that he can make the Brady Bunch theme song sexy in like seven different ways while making it look like an accident. Allow him to turn something you once thought of as the corniest into a sexy mess, please:

Another Gem From The Park

Thanks, Tessa!

Elegy For A Polar Bear

Central Park’s famous polar bear, Gus, died a few weeks ago at the advanced age of 27. If you went to the Park regularly during those 27 years, there’s a fair chance he was an honorary member of your family. And like those family members you care for deeply, Gus had some deep issues. To put it plainly, he was depressed. Gus may have been the first zoo animal to be treated with the anti-depressant Prozac. All the more reason that this amateur-ish tribute is pitch perfect.

Even better, this amateur-ish tribute comes from the perfectionists over at the New Yorker:

Fighting The Good Fight