Archives: 2015 April

Archive for April, 2015

Brunch Is Coming

This past weekend, I had the good fortune to attend a friend’s annual Game of Thrones brunch in Williamsburg, a.k.a. “The Eighth Kingdom.” I typically avoid brunch as a rule, but the gods themselves would praise this event.

Homesnake Zach Poole welcomes guests with a customized “Hodoor,” keeps milk of the poppy on hand, and has the best system imaginable for distinguishing cups. He once tried to hold his yearly celebration of his favorite television show in Staten Island, but was promptly sent back to Brooklyn where these types of things ruffle fewer feathers.

HBO famously frowns on public viewings of its shows, but I’m almost positive they would approve of this Game of Thrones bunch. For starters, Zach sets such a great table that you don’t even feel like screening episodes. But you could if you felt the need — just watch out for a cease and desist.

There’s a quick how-to @sideshow.

Tattoos Are Forever

Tom Arnold had one of the most unfortunate tattoos in the history of the form. Here, he discusses it with a paparazzo in great detail. The conversation begins with Roseanne and somehow ends up on Jet Li. It’s wonderful.

Thanks, Barfly!

This Modern Love

How British Am I?

Seldom is the question asked: Bond, how British am I? Here, it is asked over and over.

Thanks, Jordan!

Season Five Is Coming

So why not revisit season two?

2 Fast 2 Furious

Furious 7 is the most popular movie in the world. It’s breaking box office records. You can’t do that with teenage boys alone. Smart, critically thinking, grown-up people love these movies, too. The feminist, novelist, and English professor Roxane Gay is one of them. On the latest sideshow podcast, she tells me how the movies are so profitable, progressive, and maybe even brilliant.

Listen, kay?

The Blacker The Berry

I’m the biggest hypocrite of 2015
Once I finish this, witnesses will convey just what I mean
I mean, it’s evident that I’m irrelevant to society
That’s what you’re telling me, penitentiary would only hire me
Curse me till I’m dead
Church me with your fake prophesyzing that Imma be just another slave in my head
Institutionalized manipulation and lies
Reciprocation of freedom only live in your eyes
You hate me don’t you?
I know you hate me just as much as you hate yourself
Jealous of my wisdom and cards I dealt
Watchin’ me as I pull up, fill up my tank, then peel out
Muscle cars like pull ups, show you what these big wheels ’bout, ah
Black and successful, this black man meant to be special
Katzkins on my radar, bitch, how can I help you?
How can I tell you I’m making a killin’?
You made me a killer, emancipation of a real nigga

– King Kendrick

Settlers Of Brooklyn

You’ve played Settlers Of Catan​ (maybe?), but New York’s hottest game is Settlers of Brooklyn:

Thanks, Moustache Man!

Easter Monday

Easter Monday is actually a thing. In Canada, today is a holiday and kids don’t have to go to school.

Anyway, my friend Sabri has a friend who made stigmata cookies to celebrate Easter this past weekend. They’re incredible.

In closing: Yay! He is risen! What a gnarly story, eh?

Peace be with you.

And also with you.

Dance, Movie, Dance

Whenever I see a dance scene in a movie, I know they’re playing with my emotions, but I usually give in anyway.

Now, we have a supercut to pay tribute to some of the more unforgettable such scenes: three minutes and 20 seconds from from the original Footloose, the re-make of Footloose, The Breakfast Club, Mary Poppins, Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder, Tom Hanks in Big, and about 100 more.

It’s Friday. Dance.